The Swerved Presents: Dream Match the 55th

Team Batista (Batista, World Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston and CM Punk, ECW Champion Matt Hardy, and R-Truth) vs. Team California Dreams: Classic Lineup (Matt Garrison, Jenny Garrison, Tiffani Smith, Tony Wicks and Sly Winkle)

Squeaky clean teenagers with minor problems that we blow way out of proportion
Kinda derivative, as if we wish to be saved by some bells
Saturday mornings turn into Sunday nights
Perfect timing to wrestle five sweaty dudes
No time to hesitate
Just eliminate

We'll wake you up, we'll wake you up to an ass-kicking
Welcome to the California dream
We'll let you lay prone on the mat
Until Jake Sommers arrives, takes our spot, and performs his ten-hour guitar solo

Death and destruction, tough times in the wrestling ring
Let us continue these beatings after we lip-synch and play instruments in a poor manner

We'll wake you up, we'll wake you up to an ass-kicking
Welcome to the California dream
We'll let you lay prone on the mat
Until Jake Sommers arrives, takes our spot, and performs his ten-hour guitar solo

The Question:
Who wins and how?

*****

NEXT WEEK

John Cena solves my problems.

AND

Good morning. What took you so long to receive our transmission? Now let it comfort you.