Monday, December 01, 2008

The Answered


From my own experiences with the industry, wrestling fans are an inquisitive bunch. They love to get down with the nitty-gritty details of the wrestling world. When they are not asking questions, they are not living. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? How come some strange lady in flannel clothes and a crew cut was with my mother the other night? Hold yourself before you fold yourself, my people. Don't get carried away with your queries. In life, not every question can be answered. You should not ask about what we cannot know. More often not, events happen for no discernable reason or purpose. As we learn how the river flows through the mountains, and how the birds fly over the horizon, professional wrestling continues to be a nonstop mystery. In the end, maybe we are not meant to uncover the secrets of wrestling. Maybe we should enjoy wrestling for what it is to us, not for what it is not. On the other hand, I am thankful that we have experts at hand to guide us through the wondrous world of professional wrestling.

Where can one find these experts? At Yahoo! Answers, no doubt. Yahoo! Answers is a wonderful service in which people from around the sphere-like globe come together to answer questions for other people. To me, Yahoo! Answers is the Ranjin Singh to our Great Khali. Show us how to turn our Punjabi Nightmares into Punjabi Dreams, Yahoo! Answers. Without hesitation, the service directs us in the Kiss Cam Segment we call human existence. I salute the brave men and women who take time out of their busy day to solve problems that are not theirs, clear up misconceptions that are not theirs, and lead the followers on the strenuous expedition towards truth. These individuals are certified experts. For one, they are on the internet. For two, they have prestigious titles like "MaddDogg49283" and "Boobers_the_Great" (I believe the latter teaches a advanced course in quantum physics at Oxford). Do not question their expert methods unless you are willing to get schooled, elementary, secondary, and post secondary-style.

Whenever I feel as though my wealth of knowledge is not to a level comparable to that of a Yahoo! Answers expert, I must revert back to my days as the professional wrestling student and learn from my betters. I would never lie to you, wrestling fans. On the odd occasion, I realize that I may not know everything there is to know about wrestling. Please forgive me. I am only one man who can transform into two if I think really hard and hope for the best. Even then, I must look to the answering gods for a way out of mediocrity.

As we take a gander at the Yahoo! queries of our modern day, note that these experts do not receive monetary compensation for their efforts. They are not in for the dollar-dollars. They are in it to make you smarter, faster, and better than before. Over the holidays, feel free to send them fruit baskets in gratitude of their work. They deserve the finest cantaloupes that fruit baskets can bring. Now, without delay, let us bask in awe of their wrestling expertise. The rays of their knowledge soothe my skin. I plan to look quite orange tonight.


WWE

The Undertakeress

marcjim20 asks:

"What if the WWE conceptualized a female version of the Undertaker?

Which of the WWE's past and recent Diva's will you think will pass on to portray the character?"

Let me get this straight, marc and or jim who is related to the number 20 in some meaningful way: in order for a WWE Diva to become a female version of the Undertaker, she has to die? In my opinion, WWE Divas cannot die. Their bodies are made out of an indestructible mixture of metal rubber and spray-on tan -- the same materials that the aliens used to build the Egyptian pyramids in 1996. Along with Muffy's immortal legacy, I like to think that the legend of Jackie Gayda will live on until the end of days. Nevertheless, your question intrigues me. If had to choose a candidate to don the ominous trench coat, Quaker Oats hat, and mixed martial arts gloves ensemble, I would pick Maria; this woman needs a serious character change. Also, who wouldn't want to see Mariataker put groggy, female opponents in the Tombstone position? Whenever face locks eyes with crotch, both the wrestler who gives the move and the wrestler who receives the move have an excellent time. As far as I know, Undertaker calls that position the "Welcome to Wonderland." I'm sure Maria's wonderland is equally majestic.

Best Answer - Attitude Era:

"im not sure u get a star for this question tho it made me think.i think if they had to do a female taker they would use that vampire chick that was kevin thorns girlfriend cuz shes just weird like that i guess"

Despite the fact that Ariel (Shelly Martinez) is the former but official, freaky, upside-down, bat chick of professional wrestling, she would make a poor female Undertaker. Of course, Ariel's stint with World Wrestling Entertainment continues to inspire me in my everyday life (at opportune moments, I am known to scream, "Come on, Thorn!" at strangers), but vampires cannot become living, undead, zombie things. I think this practise is illegal. In the past, didn't Dateline cover a story about the problematic consequences of a vampire who takes on a second occupation, such as that of an undertaker? Even if Ariel dedicated herself to the role, I do not believe that she could overcome her limitations. You heard Tazz: she's upside down more than anyone cares to mention. Then again, she can't help that she's top-heavy. She is built like a shuttlecock. You can't force her to stand upright and walk through fog at important events. What WWE could do is film their broadcasts with upside down cameras, but I would not recommend it.


WWE Divaship

Ashley B asks:

"What are the requirements to become a wwe diva?

I dont want to go to college i want to start trying to get into the wwe right away."

Because all WWE Divas are rich and respected sports entertainers, you have made a wise choice, Ashley B. As far as you and I are concerned, you should change your name to Ashley A because your aces to me. If I was a girl, I would have started my journey to the WWE Women's Championship at the earliest age possible. At age two, I would get breast implants in order to break them out and mature into them. At six years old, I would put another set of breast implants over my last one. From my teenage years to early adulthood, I would model. As of late, Johnny Ace, the WWE Senior Vice President of Talent Relations, has proven that modelling on a beach in a skimpy bikini, or covering yourself in honey while riding a skateboard, equals professional wrestling training. Also, if you can appear or work your way to appear as though a light nudge can break your body in half, you will open many a door and window of opportunity. Therefore, your training should start more sooner than later for thousands of women share your dream. Before you embark on your quest, remember that Maria died for your sins. Actually, she died to become the female version of the Undertaker, but you should thank her, regardless of her intentions. She's not of this earth anymore. Why must you judge her? How can you be so cruel, Ashley A? You are Ashley B- until further notice.

Best Answer - Y A Queen:

"Apply for a playboy job first and hope that the wwe will consider taking you"

Oh no you did not, Y A Queen. Oh no you did not with a did not cherry on a did not top. Although, you done did it. Congratulations. I wish to buy you a congratulatory present, but I have not bought a present for a queen before, let alone the queen of the letters Y and A. Do you enjoy mattresses, or Latifahs? Compared to you, I am but a lowly human being. Your answer humbles me. Conversely, you reply lacks accuracy. I am not sure that any Playboy job will help an aspiring diva make it to WWE. What happens if Ashley B becomes a production assistant for Playboy Magazine? How is that a sexy and sultry occupation? What if Playboy hires her to hold one of those circle reflectors instead? As a means to guarantee herself a spot on the WWE Divas roster, Ashley B she must pose for tasteful, nude photos on silk bed sheets, or silkier bed sheets. Alas, WWE programming is PG. Therefore, Playboy should photograph Ashley B eating jelly beans while colouring within the lines of activity book pages.


Reinventing the Match

omavroma asks:

"What are some good silly gimmick matches that the WWE should come up with?

It is time that past and present WWE wrestlers should come together and have some crazy gimmick matches. For example the Big Show, Big Daddy V, and Viscera should be in a "Old Country Buffet" invasion match. Perhaps we can have a "who can steal a car the fastest" match between Cryme Tyme and the Repo Man. Perhaps a there should be "who can read a pop-up book match" Hacksaw Jim Dugan, Eugene, and Festus. What are your gimmick matches?"

You are a genius, omavroma. In a battle between a wrestling promotion and a restaurant, I would love to see the Big Show, Big Daddy V, and Viscera face disgruntled employees of the Old Country Buffet, especially considering that Big Daddy V and Viscera are the same person. Who will come out on top? The behemoths of World Wrestling Entertainment or Madge, Dot, and Gerald, your host and hostesses of pain? In response to your match concepts between Cryme Tyme and the Repo Man and Jim Duggan, Eugene, and Festus, I'm an instant fan. You have wonderfully stereotypical and offensive ideas. I would like to buy you an alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink, kind sir. Or, perhaps you would like to fight for this drink in a " Who needs a drink the most?“ match. Prior to the contest, both competitors must eat pretzels and saltines for twenty four hours straight. The first man to grab the drink wins the match and almost dies from a sodium overdose. Let's be friends.

Best Answer - Yankee Stadium (1923-2008):

"I would like to see a naked battle royal with the WWE Divas. Whoever is eliminated has to drop the clothes. Hey Joe, I was just making a suggestion. Stop acting like you are better than anyone. I would like to suggest another match. I was thinking of a cage match, but there will be electricity on the outside of the cage. Another suggestion that I have is a lumberjack match, but you have the fans participate as lumberjacks. This can also be an opportunity for the WWE fans to take out some of their frustrations by attacking wrestlers they don't like."

As of now, I’m not in favour of your answer, Yankee Stadium. I think I would like a second opinion on this question. Maybe I'll ask Fenway Park if it has the time. Does anybody have Coors Field's Twitter account name? Your naked battle royal concept is interesting, but the match itself is not a naked battle royal unless the WWE Divas wrestle in the ring without clothes. Your proposal is the equivalent to a Hot Dog on a Pole Match, in which two wrestlers compete in a standard wrestling match, then the winner of the match gets to eat the hot dog on a pole. People want to see them fight for the hot dog. The hot dog represents the American Dream, which every American hopes to achieve. Do you want to deny American wrestling fans of such a match? For your sake, you better give them what they want. You better give them naked women eating hot dogs on poles. Together, we can overload the sexual innuendo metre until it breaks.


Live Now, Die Later

Legend Killer asks:

"If steroids are so bad, how come the wwe superstars still lead healthy lives consuming them?

Also make a list of the pros and cons of steroids and a decently - sized list of the wwe ones who do."

You are so right, Legend Killer who may or may not be Randall Keith Orton. Steroids are as harmless as M&Ms. The other day, I took a shower in steroids as I competed in a Steroid Eating Contest presented by Dolph Ziggler. While my heart stopped for two minutes, I was fine afterwards. Since you wish to know the pros and cons of steroid usage, I will give them to you:

Pros:
- Increased muscle mass
- Better muscle definition
- Bulging arm veins
- Shrinking man nuggets
- Confidence and high self-esteem

Cons:
- Nothing (and don't you dare question this statement)

As you can see, steroids provide the steroid user with an enriched lifestyle for many years to come. When I say years to come, I mean about ten or less, but that's good enough, isn't it? Your body is a temple, so why not kill that temple in a slow, methodical manner? Let me debunk the myth of steroids for you, Legend Killer. Steroids are not bad. Like Frosted Flakes, steroids are great. I will not think of you as an actual man unless you take them in copious amounts. Moreover, you will not attract the lovely ladies unless you can carry the combined weight of the Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, and the Space Needle with you pinky finger. Steroids is a gateway drug -- a gateway to happiness.


Best Answer - ••●bizeb●••:

"To answer your questions it often takes a while to see the effects of consuming steroids, however some of the forefathers like Arnold Schwarzenegger have had a history of serious heart problems.

Pros: Stronger, make the team, possible make more money
Cons: your general health of heart conditions, roid rage, shrinking testicles, possible feminine features

I hope that you are not considering using them, believe me it is not work your health, why don't you just you crack or some other drug and you will just get the negative effects more quickly and get it over with"

When it comes to steroids, ••●bizeb●•• takes into account this concept called "reality." What is reality anyway? Reality is a television show that features twelve shirtless guys living in a house together who hug each other sometimes on an octagonal mat in front of their peers. Reality is The Miz. Hence, I have no use for this "reality." And how dare you propose that the Legend Killer should indulge in cocaine usage. After all, he can do that later when he gets his fame and fortune. Don't count his chickens before the chickens are kitchen fresh. Yes, steroids can be harmful to your health, but what about his look? What about the Legend Killer's glorious appearance? As viewers of professional wrestling, haven't we learned that appearance is the most important factor that determines success in the business? How is the Legend Killer supposed to compete with THE Brian Kendrick's inhuman physique? He can't. The Legend Killer needs help.


World Championship Entertainment

cena29 asks:

"What do you think would of happened if WCW would of bought WWE?

Would it of changed what it is today?
Would we have the superstars we have now in the wwe?"

If World Championship Wrestling was victorious in the Monday Night Wars, Vince McMahon would play the role that Eric Bischoff had in WWE. Eric would humiliate him to an excessive degree, then put him in boring and nonsensical Redneck Competitions against Goldberg. For Vince's exit from the company, Eric would put him in a dress and haul him out of the arena in the back of a garbage truck, which would wear a dress as well. During the invasion angle, The Rock would play the clumsy, lovable loser role that made Shawn Stasiak famous for two seconds, the Undertaker would stalk Diamond Dallas Page's wife, and Stone Cold Steve Austin would play Buff Bagwell for no other reason than to make my dream come true of Austin doing the Bagwell strut in a top hat. Even though Stone Cold Steve Austin never failed to entertain me in his prime, he was no Buff Bagwell. Nobody can be Buff Bagwell; not even Buff Bagwell himself. For your information, he is buff, he is the stuff, the girls can't get enough, he craves marshmallow fluff, and he has a 8 x 10 signed photograph from Hilary Duff. Where you at, Scott Norton? Where you at? You need to balance out the deliciousness with your viciousness.

Best Answer - Koumidiator WRW VLR OS:

"Of course,some things would have been different...

Actually,i think that none promotion will outlast WWE in a long temr goals,WWE has the money,has build the popularity and they are superior for now even if they are not provisiing the best shows..for example here in Greece,we don't get TNA,only WWE..

Anyways,if WCW have bought WWE,i believe that the current company would have been almost like the WWE now with a bit different superstars..a lot superstars from the "then WWE" would have jumped on WCW but with not big success..perharps would have had different younger wrestlers cause the talent executives are not the same persons...possibly not John Cena,not Randy Orton..but we can't know..it's a totally hypothetic answer...
Goldberg perharps would have been the main character of the shows..and the one that the show would be surrounded to get ratings and stuff..building up hype e.t.c

But yeah,i do believe that some of the superstars would have jumped to WCW..as for the new ones like Morisson,CM Punk,Miz, and more..possibly would have stayed on their promotions to wait for the opportunity...."

I am impressed with this answer. Not only does Koumidiator WRW VLR OS provide a detailed scenario of a World Championship Wrestling monopoly, he expresses himself through an inventive version of the English language. I shall call his language, "Onglish." Put the word in the dictionary and make the change official. As for John Cena and Randy Orton in WCW, I would not mind to watch matches between combinations of Cena or Orton and Hogan, Goldberg, and Scott Hall, or an monumental battle between the teams of Cena and Orton and the illustrious duo of Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper. With Romeo and Skipper atop Professional Wrestling Mountain, WCW would never falter. Add in the Natural Born Thrillers and you have yourself a mighty fine company. In turn, John Morrison, CM Punk, and The Miz can take over the undercard for they will not matter in this version of WCW. In Vince Russo's mind, these wrestlers are of Mexican descent somehow.


TNA

Instant Success

Punk the MAN (Bacon Lover) asks:

"How much time will it take for TNA to overthrow WWE?

As we all know,WWE is getting worse ratings than ever(RAW and SD have both gotten they're worst ratings ever in the last weeks,if you did not know),but TNA has goten beter ratings than ever.So how much will it take if this keeps up?
I saw 1 yr."

Shoot, Punk the MAN who doubles as a bacon admirer in your spare time. Total Nonstop Action (Wrestling) could take the top spot as the number one wrestling promotion in North America right now, but they don't feel like it. They had too much mahi-mahi or whatever food BG James was looking for during TNA's so-called invasion of WWE. In TNA's state, the company should not even bother trying to take their competitor's fish. In my view, they should take WWE's moist toilettes and leave before Vince McMahon notices. After a hearty meal of fried chicken and corn on the cob, imagine the look on his sports entertainment face when he cannot find his moist toilettes. This prank is of the ultimate variety. In the meantime, TNA is number two because it secretly wants to be inferior. Does Pinky want to assume the role of Brain? Does Robin ever want to become Batman? Does Chaz have a desire to be D'Lo Brown in Lo Down? On second thought, that third example is debatable at best. We all know that Tiger Ali Singh was the star of that group. If TNA can inspire to become Tiger Ali Singh, the company will be number one tomorrow.

Best Answer - The MindFreak (Anti-Troll):

"I will answer unlike the fools who give WWE marks and have never seen more than 3 episodes of TNA. The answer is...

There are 2 POSSIBLE way. One way is if TNA gets their ratings up and takes WWE down itself. On the other hand, however, WWE might have to "destroy" itself for TNA to be at the top. By "destroy" itself, I mean WWE taking the biggest and best out like Orton, HBK, Undertaker, HHH, etc. WWE has to have HUGE superstars go to TNA. WWE's rating have to drop. I guess WWE will be overthrown in 10-20 years. Besides, TNA's too young, small, and weak to take the oldest, biggest, and probably strongest in the world.

I hope I answerded rationally :)"

You "answerded" more than rationally, The Mind Freak (Anti-Troll). You answerded well. World Wrestling Entertainment would have to destroy itself to make way for the rise of TNA. Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, Undertaker, Triple H, and the biggest superstar of them all, Kung Fu Naki, would have to spontaneously combust at once for viewers to even think about watching Thursday Night Impact! In addition, WWE would have to stop serving superior fish platters during promotional video shoots for major Pay-Per-Views. As a whole, the promotion's catering puts Captain High Liner's measly catch of aquatic delicacies to shame. I bet Captain High Liner is sulking in his boat now, wishing that he could divorce the sea. I call for him to realize his life goal of creating affordable, stylish, nautical jewelry for children without arms or necks. The world is your oyster-y oyster, Mr. High Liner. Reel yourself a dream.


Turn On the Lights

Mark asks:

"How many TNA Wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb ?

I'd like to know how many TNA wrestler does it take to change a light bulb ?

answer with a light bulb joke. I am a fan of TNA, but answer with a light bulb joke.

be creative

Dixie Carter to buy the ladder, Jeff Jarret to climb it and Vince Russo to hold it

3 TNA WRESTLERS lol"

Your question and answers to your own question are as poetic as your elaborate screen name. Mark, you say. "Mark," howls the coyotes in the moonlight. "Mark," chirps the great song bird through the tree canopy. Wherever the waves hit the shore, and wherever snowflakes flutter to the frozen ground, your name will always be with me. You are my life song. As for your answer, I am not positive that it is humourous. Your first reply that Dixie Carter, Jeff Jarrett, and Vince Russo will work as a unit to screw in a light bulb is more logical than funny. Plus, Dixie Carter has not yet wrestled in her lifetime. Your second response, which makes you laugh out in a loud fashion, is straightforward, but dull. If you want to know how many wrestlers it takes to change a change a light bulb, the answer is zero. Those performers who have the ability to change the light bulb are too busy trying to grab a large letter X from intersecting cables. They have little time to do your household chores. Climbing is difficult.

Best Answer - Shiny shoes:

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan!"

Somebody phone 9-1-1. Have you seen those stitches? Yes? Well, you have put me in them, Shiny shoes. I hope you are happy with the fact that your shoes are shiny. Since Juan is a good friend of The Swerved, I know for a fact that he would be glad to change a light bulb. He's an altruistic individual. As much as you put me in stitches, you did not answer Mark's beautiful query. What kind of answerer are you? A bad one? How dare you put your interests in front of someone who requires your assistance. What kind of person would you be if Mark's question was a matter of life and death? "How many TNA wrestlers does it take to change a light bulb?" could easily be a question that a madman acts his captive at gunpoint. Therefore, if you respond with your revolutionary Mexican quip, you have aided to murder Mark. That madman does not want a funny answer. He wants a real answer to cure him of his madness. Look what you've done to Mark in this hypothetical situation, Shiny shoes. Are you proud? Those shoes may not be so shiny anymore. To me, they are covered in the blood of an innocent man. Thanks a lot, lady. You ruined his week.


JB All Up in Your TV

4-Horsemen aka NinersFan asks:

"Can someone explain to me why Jeremy Borash is on TV more than anyone in TNA?

Outside of the actual wrestling on the show, He is involved for ever single angle. Why?

BQ: What is the next step TNA needs to make to inch closer to the popularity of the WWE?"

If you must question Jeremy Borash's role on TNA programming, you are not a true fan of professional wrestling. For those of you who despise young Jeremy, you must be communists. When will you understand Jeremy Borash's greatness? Although he cannot beat the Pope Todd Grisham, he trumps Eve Torres' skills in the interview department. Speaking of Borash's dabbling in the field of excellence, he reminds me of "Littleface" Finny from Dick Tracy. The next time you see Jeremy Borash on your television screen, think of "Littleface" Finny. Due to the uncanny resemblance, your viewing experience of Mr. Borash and TNA Impact! shall improve to a substantial degree. When I first made the connection between the two, I ran naked through the streets in jubilation, throwing candy into the air, chanting "T-N-A! Dick-Trace-Ay! T-N-A! Dick-Trace-Ay!" The memories wash over me like a welcoming flood. I highly recommend that you ponder this comparison for your own benefit. I never felt so alive. I dangled like a Twizzler in a hurricane. Jeremy Borash for forever.

Best Answer - Donovan T:

"He's not involved in every single angle.

However, he does appear a lot. One of the reasons is because Borash is the interviewer backstage, and most of the backstage segments are interviews with other wrestlers. He was also in the Christian Coalition/Angle Alliance storyline for comedic purposes, similar to Kevin Kelly and Michael Cole getting ridiculed by The Rock.

BQ: Have the younger wrestlers begin to transition into higher positions on the card and ultimately be more important in storylines. AJ Styles and Samoa Joe are moving up, but Kaz, James Storm, and Robert Roode need to progress into storylines as well. With the Knockouts going in their direction, all they have to do is push the younger people.

**starred**

**5 thumbs down? Wow, I must be doing well. Keep them coming...
**11 thumbs down? Wow, I beat my personal best..."

In Frankie Kazarian's brief stint with World Wrestling Entertainment, his refusal to get a haircut led to his release. Hence, I do not think Kaz is the answer to help TNA become a serious competitor with WWE. How can one be so attached to long hair? As far as I know, long hair can't protect you from the wrath of fire-breathing dragons. In my entire life, I have never sported long hair, which may be one of the reasons why I am the most respected professional wrestling analyst today. Like Kazarian, James Storm and Robert Roode will never reach the main event level for they are against short hair, too. You see, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe are successful because of their short hair. Since The Rock had short hair and Steve Austin had no hair, they became international sensations. In both cases, I discern no other reason for their overwhelming success. Until Frankie Kazarian realizes the power of short hair, he is a faint blip on the wrestling radar.


Make Trade Fair

Washed*O asks:

"Who in TNA would you trade John Cena and Batista for?

since TNA is full of talented wrestlers, they won't mind having 2 idiots there right?They could be used as jobbers.

Which two wrestlers from TNA do you wish could return or come to WWE, to help boost ratings?"

I may not be the biggest fans of John Cena and Batista, but I find your comments rather offensive, Washed*O. Why don't you wash out your mouth and computer with the soapiest of soaps? Unlike the wrestlers of TNA, Cena and Batista know how to portray themselves as stars. In fact, I often mistake them for self-luminous, celestial bodies in the night sky. Are you insinuating that these two superstars are not as super or starry as WWE fans believe them to be? You should be ashamed of yourself. If I knew your home address (the exact location of the overpass under in which you live), I would come to your door and drive an egg beater into your gonads. No matter what you do, Shark Boy is not John Cena. No matter what you say, Eric Young is not Batista. You live in a fantasy world of fairies, goblins, and magical elves that trick you into believing their elfish lies. I do not wish to deal with people such as yourself. You make me want to projectile vomit with rage. If you care about boosting TNA ratings, how about you keep your mouth hole shut and your hands to yourself, governor?

Best Answer - Ultimate Warrior's #1 Fan:

"Batista - Sting
John Cena - AJ Styles

The answerer above me is a lunatic"

I am going to negate the fact that Ultimate Warrior's #1 Fan referred to another answerer as a lunatic and apply his insult to Washed*O. Anyone who dares to be a fan of the Ultimate Warrior is a truth-teller in my non-existent, truthful book. In response to his answer, I think Batista and Sting is a logical trade. On one side, you have an powerbombing animal of mixed race. On the other side, you have a middle-aged man in Crow makeup. In the end, this transition is even and beneficial for both promotions. In terms of the trade that features John Cena for AJ Styles, the latter wrestler is not as popular as the former yet. If I put myself in the mindset of a wrestling promoter, AJ Styles must encourage people to eat his peanuts and appear to be the love child of Kevin Bacon and Matt Damon first before I will consider the trade. Furthermore, his uncle, Mark Wahlberg, must give me his blessing. Say hello to your mother for me, AJ Styles. You're a TNA wrestler, right? Well, Mark Wahlberg was in Boogie Nights? Did you see that movie?


Ho Ho Monays

WWE~N~TNA Girl asks:

"How much money does a TNA Knockout make for a normal match?!?!?

Just wondering......
Can you guys/ladies also tell me, when their TNA Knockout champion; do they make more money?
Oh yeah, and how much they make for a year.

Thanks! ☺

Please answer this....

Please and Thank you =)"

While WWE Divas and the WWE Women's Champion are paid in money, TNA pays their Knockouts in powered milk and government cheese. In other words, TNA Knockouts have the most lucrative contracts in wrestling. As a woman who aspires to be a TNA Knockout, wouldn't you want a whole lot of powered milk and government cheese? According to a scientific study I made up in my mind at this moment, women who eat only powered milk and government cheese are 95% more likely to succeed in the wrestling business. I don't know what you think, but I like those odds. In the case of WWE Divas, who cares about money? Money can't get you anything except, food, clothing and shelter. What can powered milk and government cheese get you? Food, clothing, shelter, and success. You can eat and drink, wear, build homes, and negotiate business deals with powered milk and government cheese. These products never fail. According to another research study that I thought up on the spot, powered milk and government cheese single-handedly granted women the right to vote in the 1920s. If that isn't power, what is, ladies?

Best Answer - craigROH:

"they are not normal paid for each match, they are under contract you see like most wrestlers are except for indy wrestlers who get like paid each match, the bigger the draw the more money they will make in the indys.

women wrestlers do get paid less than the men, obviously the women champion is going to get the most money from merchandice and so forth but also if there is veterans who have been around for a while they might get special privelages like kane for exmaple whos flights ar paid for and other special benifits."

Craig, whose name is synonymous with Ring of Honor for an undisclosed reason, is correct. Women wrestlers do not have a salary that is equivalent to that of male wrestlers, but they are contracted workers who get paid enough. On that note, I do not understand why craigROH uses Kane as an example of a WWE Superstar who receives special benefits on the road. Kane is a Big Red Machine. He doesn't get special privileges because he has earned them; rather, he is a scary monster who prefers to wear a single, white contact lense over two. Are you going to deny this man paid fights, hotel rooms, and rental cars? I don't think so. If anything, you will give Kane whatever he wants. You know what that means: red lighting wherever he goes. I'm talking about red lighting at the supermarket checkout counter, red lighting at Burger King, and red lighting while he brushes his teeth. At the same time, creepy organ music must accompany him during his daily errands. One day, Kane tries to receive a loan from the bank with the assistance of organ music. The outcome is promising.

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