Webster's Dictionary defines legacy as a word with a particular definition. Whatever that definition may be, I'm almost 47% sure that Randy Orton and The Legacy lived up to it. As the bond between three future legends implodes before us, I am left unsatisfied, wanting more. Wrestling fans knew that the end was near, but now that I see it for myself, I must look away. Watching Orton and The Legacy break up is like witnessing your three shirtless children fight over the only clean shirt in the house. If I could, I would give all of them shirts.
Before his alliance with The Legacy, Randy Orton was fine, but the stable made him better. Moving forward, who will be there to support Randy by standing uncomfortably close to him in the locker room? Of course, Ted DiBiase will be okay for he is the second Marine. With that said, I question his honour as a Marine. Specifically, I want to know the whereabouts of the first Marine. If Joe Linwood murdered John Triton in order to absorb his significant-other-saving powers, DiBiase is going to jail for a long time. Finally, where will Cody Rhodes go? His eyes are fairly sunken into his face. That's not good.
As I gear up to say goodbye to my favourite stable since the New Brood, I want to look back at the memorable gifts that Orton, Rhodes, and DiBiase have given me over their run. Despite my slight criticisms of World Wrestling Entertainment, Orton and The Legacy was a constant highlight. Every time DiBiase and Rhodes caused a disqualification in a Randy Orton match via run-in, I celebrated by coating myself in coconut oil. Today, the world’s supply of coconut oil is low. Coconut oil has become as valuable of a commodity as petroleum.
Most likely, WrestleMania XXVI will be the swan song of The Legacy, but what a beautiful little ditty it will be. Join me as I grunt, groan, moan, and breath heavily in this retrospective of the second best trio in professional wrestling history. The New Brood is first because the Hardy Boyz and Gangrel made sense.
In 2008, Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly held the prestigious World Tag Team Championship (which were previously held by some guy and another guy). Under the tutelage of Holly, the young Rhodes learned how to be a pleasant and friendly person. Success came easy to the duo until Ted DiBiase showed up on several episodes of Monday Night RAW. In promos, DiBiase vowed to dethrone the champions with the assistance of a mystery partner. Some wrestling fans speculated that his father would be his partner, partly because those fans lived in an alternative dimension in which the 80s never ended.
At WWE Night of Champions, that mystery partner was Cody Rhodes. With DiBiase by his side, Rhodes beat Holly and himself to become a World Tag Team Champion. While the betrayal did not sit well with Holly, Rhodes was fine with it. After the match, Rhodes went to the ice cream parlour with himself, seeking forgiveness. From there, Priceless was born.
An injured Randy Orton singled out Rhodes and DiBiase in a RAW promo, calling them weak champions for not standing up to such intimidating teams as Cryme Tyme. In response, Priceless thought about how they could compete with JTG and Shad Gaspard. They did not have the time to write "Yo!" several times on their sunglasses, nor did they have to will to make it look less lame than it actually was. What they did have was a futuristic Apple computer. Cutting out pictures of Samoans from magazines, they worked throughout the night to create their ideal secret weapon. That weapon turned out to be a scantily-clad Manu, complete with savage wrestling boots.
Immediately, Rhodes and DiBiase gained Orton's respect by proving that futuristic computers could produce not only Kelly LeBrock, but Samoan wrestlers, too. At Unforgiven 2008, the new-look Priceless took out CM Punk to impress Orton once again. Using that same futuristic Apple computer, they celebrated the beat-down by playing Minesweeper. Manu could not sweep the mines.
Randy's affiliation with Priceless came into question during a match between Orton and World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk. Wanting to show Randy Orton how much he loves disqualifications, Ted DiBiase caused one, ruining Randy's chance to win the championship. For his troubles, Randy Orton punted DiBiase out of the group as a way to say, "Go film The Marine 2 now. I have been waiting two long years for some closure."
With DiBiase gone, Orton, Rhodes, and Manu formed The Legacy — a stable of second- and third-generation superstars who considered themselves to be better than those before them. Missing an important piece in the group, The Legacy searched throughout WWE for a fourth member. After ten minutes, they got bored and found Sim Snuka, who expressed great interest in joining the stable. They said, "I guess so, Simothy. Five bucks."
Exercising his authority as the leader of The Legacy, Randy Orton forced Rhodes, Snuka, and Manu to prove their worth in the stable. Manu proved his worth by failing to do anything that doesn't require being Samoan, leading to his exclusion from the group. In a RAW tag team match versus Cryme Tyme, Cody Rhodes proved his worth with a pinfall victory. Despite Snuka being on the winning side as well, Orton kicked him out of the group for having a name like Sim Snuka.
Seeking sweet Samoan revenge, Sim Snuka and Manu concocted a devilish plan to attack their former leader. Unable to get Cody on their side, they acquired the help of former Legacy member Ted DiBiase instead. As the three went to ambush Rhodes and Orton, DiBiase turned on Snuka and Manu, realigning himself with The Legacy.
After DiBiase informed Orton that he had finished filming The Marine 2, Randy welcomed him back with a long hug. DiBiase was weirded out, but Orton told him not to fight the feelings. When DiBiase informed Orton that he couldn't tell him anything about the story, Randy shoved him aside and went to IMDB for possible spoilers.
During Manu and Snuka's stint with the stable, they were given nationwide attention with an infamous appearance on a reality television clip show called The Soup. Host Joel McHale introduced a backstage segment in which Manu, Snuka, and the rest of The Legacy fumed at each other in a homosexual manner. McHale recreated the moment with his own set of fuming, half-naked men. At that moment, Manu and Snuka made the big time.
Eventually, both men were released by WWE. Since their release, eyewitness reports claim that Manu and Sim have been wandering the backstage area of the wilderness, breathing heavy breaths while face-to-face with various animals. The Swerved would like to wish Manu and Sim Snuka the best of luck in their forest endeavours.
Vince McMahon's attempt to fire Orton on an early 2009 RAW resulted in a punt to the face. As a means to seek vengeance for his father's attack, Shane McMahon took on Orton, which ended with a punt to the face. On the next night, Shane took on Orton again, which ended with a punt to the face. When Shane's sister Stephanie stood up to Orton, Randy chose to RKO her in the neck.
After the devastating move, Triple H ran down to the ring to chase away Orton and The Legacy. In actuality, he ran down to the ring to get an honest answer from Orton. If Randy punted Vince and Shane in the face, why didn't he punt his wife? What was wrong with his wife's face? Is his wife's face not good enough for the foot of Randy Orton? Good gravy. What a world.
As the build to WrestleMania XXV escalated, so did the feud between Orton and Triple H. At first, Randy avoided a WrestleMania matchup with Hunter, but Triple H coaxed his former Evolution ally to take the match by offering his own face for punting. Preferring the unique facial features of Hunter over Stephanie, Randy accepted. Meanwhile, Rhodes and DiBiase stood in the background, being cool background scenery like a large tree or something.
At WrestleMania XXV, Triple H defeated Randy Orton for the WWE Championship with a sledgehammer to the face. After the match, Orton brought up the idea of attaching a sledgehammer to his leg. That way, he could beat Triple H in a future match with the ultimate insult move: a sledgehammer foot to Hunter's face. Unfortunately, Rhodes and DiBiase talked Randy out of using the idea.
Without sledgehammer feet, a six-man tag at Backlash gave Randy one more chance to punt Triple H in the face. At the event, Orton won the title with that a regular punt. As Shane sought vengeance for a third, fourth, and fifth time, Rhodes and DiBiase told him to look over there for a minute. The Legacy tricked him to the point where he's still looking over there. What is over there anyway? Oh. Better things.
Over the summer of 2009, John Cena and Randy Orton battled in Iron Man Matches, Hell in a Cell Matches, I Quit Matches, You Quit Matches, Cell in a Hell Matches, Iron Woman Matches, and Iron Giant Matches (a match in which the first competitor to fully appreciate the tonal nuances of the 1999 animated film The Iron Giant wins). At the same time, Shawn Michaels helped Triple H in the fight against Rhodes and DiBiase, selling millions of glow sticks.
Shortly thereafter, The Legacy's clandestine glow stick business suffered.
A loss to Team Smackdown at the Bragging Rights Pay-Per-View created tension between Kofi Kingston and The Legacy — his fellow Team RAW members. They claimed that Kingston was responsible for their loss. Offended by their claim, Kofi began an intense feud with the group while slowly turning West African. This act amazed everyone, including myself. I tried to turn West African once, but I became East African instead. I was not happy at all.
After Kingston vandalized Orton's stock car, Randy was ready to fight. This rivalry by highlighted by two events: Kofi boom-dropping Orton through a table at Madison Square Garden and Orton subsequently beating Kingston almost every single time. Even though Kingston won a match against Orton during the feud, he needed Mark Cuban's help. At no point in a match should you need the assistance of an NBA owner. If you do, you are Kofi Kingston.
In the past few weeks, Randy Orton has verbally and physically attacked Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. Last week on RAW, Orton gave the RKO to both Rhodes and DiBiase in a six-man tag match. Orton's recent behaviour suggests that he likes The Legacy, but likes beating them up more.
While they have argued before, these confrontations are different. Like Randy, I believe he has taught his students too well. Ted DiBiase has become a straight-to-DVD-and-Blu-ray star. Cody Rhodes has become the friend of a straight-to-DVD-and-Blu-ray star. They are now self-aware of their greatness.
What does this mean for the future of the trio? Will Randy take on Cody and Ted in a handicap match at WrestleMania XXVI, or is there rift between Legacy members that will lead to a three-way dance? However this break-up pans out, expect to see some fireworks come March 28, 2010. Not after that five-minute match, but after the main event. Post-main-event fireworks are a WrestleMania tradition.
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