The Swerved Presents: Dream Match the 57th

The "I Like Turtles" Kid vs. Edge

You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You will never like turtles

You are not a turtle lover
You prefer hermit crabs

You like what I allow you to like
You like, you like, you like, you like what I allow you to like (you don't like)
You're just an outdated internet reference

You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You think you like turtles
You will never like turtles

You are not a turtle lover
When you watch the teenage mutant ninja variety, you have an apathetic expression on your face

The Question:
Who wins and how?

*****

NEXT WEEK

There's a next week now?

AND

We could tie our shoes together -- our tennis shoes -- and we could throw them over telephone wires. Because I see that everywhere and it seems like people would have fun doing that. Like, how hard can you throw? You know what I mean?