The Swerved Presents: Dream Match the 59th

World Heavyweight Title Elimination Chamber Match
John Cena vs. O-Town

Chains and black steel surrounding me, I'm lost in a structure with Johnny C
Every night he wrestles me, and gives me the stepover toehold facelocks I need

Now this hustler, he embodies respect and loyalty
He's a twelve-round dream from a straight-to-video action scene
And he's so sweet, he five-knuckle shuffles old ladies across the street
He's a superhuman, lover/fighter from West Newbury

I think about a guy who's a mix of Kevin Bacon
With a resemblance to Affleck's best friend Matt Damon
If the actor had a look-alike cousin, throw in the voice of Mark Wahlberg
You've got the winner of my chamber dream

The Question:
Who wins and how?

*****

NEXT WEEK

I hear voices in the voices in my head.

AND

This is not a love story. It's a story about love.